I cannot explain grief to you.
All I can say is it is a creature of spontaneity.
It doesn’t wait until a holiday or a birthday. Or even an anniversary.
No, it strikes during a lone car ride. During a Netflix movie. While your grocery shopping. While your laughing with friends. When you hear a new song. When you are on vacation. When you get a good hug from someone.
It strikes. It doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care about your time. Or your vulnerability.
It doesn’t care how much you have healed. Or how much time has gone by.
It strikes and you abide.
You feel. You hurt all over again.
It has taken a part of you with it.
It cuts your soul into pieces. It keeps those.
New pieces grow around those dark holes, never truly filling them.
This darkness is a part of you.
The only hope is to take that darkness and see others who have it too.
And they are easy to spot.
Those who value true connection. They laugh more, they share more. They love others intensely.
Those who have felt true loss, value everything more.
You cannot overcome grief. But you can grow with it.
You can learn from it. Become stronger because of it.
At the price, of being at it’s mercy on any given day.
Is it worth it?
It doesn’t matter.
Grief doesn’t discriminate.
Grief is inevitable.
For all those who are missing a loved one within the New Year…
Keep fighting through, allow that grief to become apart of you. Allow it to help you grow. To care more and to love harder. You cannot overcome grief, but you can use it to make yourself better and to help others who are grieving along side you.
It has been over three years since Ryane passed. 1,191 days to be exact. And she has been on my heart lately.
Take the time to grieve. If anyone needs someone to talk about their loved one , I am here to talk. I understand.
Cheers to you Ryane. Happy 2020. I miss you every day.
Nelson, twin to Ryane (10.1.2016)