You may be wondering where the name “One Half of Another” came from.
As many of you who have been following me know, my twin sister, Ryane passed away over three years ago in a tragic accident. To cope with her death, I began blogging to share what was on my heart and in the hopes that I could help others who are dealing with their own loss.
In addition, by blogging for the past few years, I have realized that my best writing comes from a poetry style of writing, so to explain more about why I came to the title One Half of Another, I have written the below.
O n e – H a l f
Losing your twin, hollows you out on the inside.
It turns your world side ways.
It makes it hard to breathe.
It makes you redefine every relationship.
There has always been twinness.
“How do normal people function in this harsh world without it?”
Without it, your soul is split in half.
The norm you have known your whole life. It no longer exists.
The person you called for everything.
The unspoken rules you have lived by your whole life.
The unconditional love.
Now you are stuck trying to convince others of these “rules.”
Rules that you didn’t even know existed until the moment they were gone.
Rules that you took for granted.
And now, no one understands and lives by them other than you.
There’s no more shared consciousness.
All the memories shared together are on YOU to remember.
Everything that used to be plural, is singular.
The Jenig twins becomes just Nelson.
And consciously, you begin to forget what having the plural means.
But your body and your unconscious never forget.
They yearn for that other soul.
They demand it.
But there is nothing you can do.
No one else can fill that void.
Parts of it can be overcome, but no one person will fill it like your twin.
Honestly, do I want to fill that void?
Or do I want to remember forever what you felt like by my side?
I had it easy in this world because of my twin.
All the lessons learned, were learned together.
Having had it, but no longer getting to enjoy it.
Losing it, I believe, is harder than never having it at all.
And for that I will always grieve.
For my soulmate.
My other half.
Through writing, I have been able to find a release for my loss and burdens. My writing material varies based on what I am feeling at the time, so I may write about my education, random life tips, or in this case, about my loss.
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