Ryane, You would be happy to know that I am more myself than I have been in a long time. More of the goofy, sarcastic sister that you knew, the one who would banter with others, who laughed easily and loved hard, the sister you grew up with, that you nurtured, she went away for … Continue reading Because of you
The living dead. How is it that someone who has been gone over three years somehow is still present in my life? How can they continue to enter into my thoughts? Why do I continue to ask her questions, when I know I won't receive a response? How are you still so present? Why do … Continue reading The living dead.
I miss you. And we are all doing well. And that's what really gets to me. The fact that you are no longer in this world. Someone who made my life better every day - just by knowing you were out there, but no longer... And yet, we are all moving forward. Because life without … Continue reading We are okay.
The permanence of death - It is something you never really contemplate or understand until it's thrust upon you, and then your brain doesn't even allow you to comprehend it. You try over and over to understand, "This person will no longer be in your life, you will not see them ever again, you will … Continue reading Permanent Death
As I reflect over the past year and all the changes that have occurred, I can't help but think of you, Ryane. It has been 3.5 years without you. Today marks the fourth birthday that I have to celebrate without you in the world. In some ways, it has gotten easier. Now when I start … Continue reading Happy 24th, Ryane.
Suffocation. Do you know the feeling of loss? It's the feeling of your throat closing up. Breathing is difficult. You begin to suffocate, as if the world without them no longer has oxygen. How am I supposed to breath without them? They were my oxygen. My reason for living. The person I turned to for … Continue reading Asphyxiation
Spoiler alert: If you have not seen Frozen II, then read at your own risk. ... I want to applaud Disney for touching on one of the hardest topics in the most realistic way... the loss of someone you love and what grief feels like. The song "The Next Right Thing" takes on the challenge … Continue reading “The Next Right Thing”
It's crazy how death and loss creates a wound. One that never fully heals. And like any wound can reopen at any moment. These awful moments in our life. The moments you used to think "that would never happen to me." But when it does you are shocked. The worst moments of our lives. When … Continue reading Dissipate the Darkness
Let's talk about trauma. Many people have experienced some form of trauma in their life, minor or major. It can range from losing your childhood pet to grieving for the loss of an immediate family member. It could be having a sibling go through an armed robbery (secondary trauma) to yourself actually experiencing it. It … Continue reading Trauma in Action
It's like a ticking time bomb. One minute you are in the present. The next you are thrown into a memory. Not by choice. And you leave the present to be there. To experience it as if it is all that exists. It replays. It must have been triggered by something? Or maybe not? It … Continue reading Without them