Permanent Death

The permanence of death - It is something you never really contemplate or understand until it's thrust upon you, and then your brain doesn't even allow you to comprehend it. You try over and over to understand, "This person will no longer be in your life, you will not see them ever again, you will … Continue reading Permanent Death

Asphyxiation

Suffocation. Do you know the feeling of loss? It's the feeling of your throat closing up. Breathing is difficult. You begin to suffocate, as if the world without them no longer has oxygen. How am I supposed to breath without them? They were my oxygen. My reason for living. The person I turned to for … Continue reading Asphyxiation

To choose love

What do we all deserve and need in a relationship? Acceptance. The other must look at you and see the amazing qualities you have. And see you for your faults. And with those faults, they must accept. Not try to change or improve. They must look at ALL of you.  The good AND the bad. … Continue reading To choose love

One Half of Another

You may be wondering where the name "One Half of Another" came from. As many of you who have been following me know, my twin sister, Ryane passed away over three years ago in a tragic accident. To cope with her death, I began blogging to share what was on my heart and in the … Continue reading One Half of Another

The Price of Grief

I cannot explain grief to you. All I can say is it is a creature of spontaneity. It doesn't wait until a holiday or a birthday. Or even an anniversary. No, it strikes during a lone car ride. During a Netflix movie. While your grocery shopping. While your laughing with friends. When you hear a … Continue reading The Price of Grief

Shouts of You

It's coming up on a year.  How the time flies.  You were just here.  I can still feel you by my side.  When I look at pictures, I can feel your presence.  The way you move.  The familiar way you move your hands.  The stupid way you run.  The way your face moves from each … Continue reading Shouts of You

When your burdens get in your way…

I went to confession for the first time in a loooong time the other day.    I've been holding back because I haven't been able to figure out how I'm feeling about my faith.   I still believe in it all, but I'm in a rut, and I can't figure out if I'm mad or … Continue reading When your burdens get in your way…

The Brain’s Self-defense.

I find it so interesting how your brain allows you to process things.  The key word here is allows  (you don't really have a choice).  I keep going through these circles in my mind.  I keep trying to process the fact that Ryane is gone, but it's like I relapse into ignorance over and over again. … Continue reading The Brain’s Self-defense.

Soulmates Without a Choice

I recently went to Barnes and Noble to pick up a book for the trip to Florida my family is taking.  When I was there, I decided to look in the section for grieving.  There I found this book called Grief One Day at a Time by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.. If any one is … Continue reading Soulmates Without a Choice

Searching

There are so many things that go through my head in a day.  One second everything is normal, I am thinking of exams or homework, and then next the reality that I am in crashes down on me.  And then, the normality seems unimportant.  Because everything has changed.  Whether I want it to or not. … Continue reading Searching